December 20, 2010

my goodness. how is it that i have left this wonderful space all by itself for so long, i hear you asking.

well.

there was the novel. (and yes, i did get to 50,000 words, though i still have not finished the beast itself. almost! final scenes left to write!)

and then there was pre-christmas mania, being headhunted for a new job, saying yes to new job, crazy shit going down at my old job in a not great way, wedding planning, so much wedding planning, buying things for christmas, buying things for the wedding, many many obligatory social functions, arguments, tears, emotional cold wars (not with the fianc, let me add), setting of boundaries and keeping them despite the previous two points, oh and did i mention christmas?

in all of this, one of the things that makes me saddest is the fact that we still have not found the time to put up our christmas tree. every time we're at home and have time we wind up lying on the couch in a state of semi-comatose exhaustion. i may or may not have gotten all teary about this on the weekend. in response, the fianc strode out of the room. (i kept lying on the couch.) a few minutes later he came back and stuck a piece of paper on the wall with some blu-tack.

it had a christmas tree carefully drawn on it in blue pen, and underneath it said (just in case it wasn't clear):

TREE


he really is the sweetest. now i almost don't want to put up our 'real' tree, because i kind of love his thoughtfulness of the makeshift paper tree. and the point of it, as well - if the true spirit of christmas is giving and generosity and loving people, there is nothing wrong with loving yourself a little and giving yourself a break to rest. this can be SUCH a crazy time of year. this year, i am just trying not to push myself too hard. and i'm quite openly looking forward to boxing day - on which i plan to do absolutely nothing.